The Tracy Pride
by Samara13
Summary: John reflects on some moments with his brothers. He thinks no one can hear him. MOVIEVERSE!
1. Chapter 1

John stretched himself after a few hours of writing. He was, as usual, alone on Thunderbird Five. It was now ten o'clock in the evening, though that wasn't noticable in space.

John looked at the paper in front om him and smiled a bit sadly. He wanted to write these thoughts down for months and now he finally got himself to write it in his diary. Keeping a diary would seem childish, but it helps him from getting crazy after being alone for a week or two.

John looked around him to make sure he was alone.

Of course I'm alone! He thought. He cleared his throat and began to read his writing out loud.

_Dear Diary,_

_All my brothers and my father see the "Tracy Pride" as a gift. I see that diffrent though. Of course it has helped us on many missions. For example the time that Alan ran back into a collapsing building to safe a woman that was trapped when there was an __earthquake__. But there are times I see my brothers __suffering__ because of it. Here are the most worst examples: _


	2. Chapter 2

_Virgil Tracy:  
_

_I had been on Thunderbird Five for two months in a row. I had to, because Scott had to be on Thunderbird One, Gordon and Alan were not Thunderbirds yet and Virgil was still being trained to pilot Thunderbird Two. But now Virgil was going to take over for the first time. _

_I should have noticed something was bothering him. His face was very pale when he and dad walked in. I guess I just wanted to go home so badly, I didn't notice he was nervous. He had been training for this day for months with Brains and me through the communication monitor. I thought he was ready for this…_

_Dad and I left Thunderbird Five, leaving Virgil alone. I was so glad that I could finally feel the sun on my face once again. When I walked into the kitchen I found Scott and Gordon making jokes about Virgil. They were having a bet about how long it would take Virgil to ruin the entire system. That made me a bit angry but I let it go. _

_I had just changed into my normal clothes and picked out a book to read next to the pool when the alarm went off. I rushed to the office to find dad and Brains. _

"_What's wrong"? I asked. Scott almost bumped in to me. _

"_We lost communication with Thunderbird Five." Dad said. _

_Scott laughed. "I knew he would screw things up." _

_I gave him an angry look before turning to my father. "I'll go with you, dad."_

_My father nodded and the both of us headed to the silo, leaving a stunned Scott behind. We were at Thunderbird Five in a record time of half an hour. _

"_Virgil!" My dad called when we entered the monitor room. _

_That was not necessary though. Virgil was sitting in the chair watching us with his blue eyes. _

"_Hey." He said. "I'm sorry you had to come up here, the communication shut down somehow." _

"_Thank god you're alright!" Dad said when he took Virg in a hug. After that he turned to me. "John do you want to fix the problem with Virgil"? _

_I agreed and the both of us watched as the red rocket headed back to earth. _

"_So, let's see what the problem is, shall we?" I asked when I opened the wooden plate on the side of the monitors. I could hear Virgils footsteps getting close to me. _

"_Ehm…John"?_

_I turned around and was surprised to see something sparkle in my little brothers eyes._

"_I…I'm sorry that you had to come up here…." His voice was very shaky._

"_That's okay, I don't mind as long as I can help you." _

_I knew Virgil wanted to say something else, but for some reason he didn't. The repairs were very easy, there were just a few wires that had to put back in order. To my surprise, Virgil knew exactly what had to be done. _

"_I'll call dad to tell him we're done." I said after we closed the wooden plate. I was about to push the microphone button when I felt the arms of my little brother around me. _

"_Please don't leave me John!" Virgil sobbed. _

_At first I was a bit shocked but then I realised what was going on. I guided Virgil to the lounge and sat down with him. I let Virgil cry out on my shoulder and when he calmed down I start asking questions. _

"_So…what's this all about?" _

"_Promise you won't tell anyone?" Virgil asked shaky. _

_I nodded and after he took a deep breath, he started to explain._

"_I…I'm afraid to be alone…." Virgil started. "I don't know why but for some reason I get these panic attacks and I get the feeling the walls are closing in on me."_

"_And that's the reason you shut down the communication system?" _

_Virgil nodded and tears were falling off his cheeks again. I took my little brother in a firm hug and spoke comfort to him. _

"_Why didn't you just tell me little brother?" I whispered. Deep inside, I already knew the answer. _

"_I didn't want you to think of me like a loser." Virgil said soft._

"_A loser"? I said confused. I took Virgil by the shoulder and looked at his wet face. __"How could you think something like that?" _

_Virgil shrugged. At that moment the beeping sound of an incoming message echoed. Virgils eyes went twice as big. I stood up and walked to the monitors. As I expected, it was dad checking in on the repairs. _

"_Yeah we're almost done dad." _

_I took a quick look over my shoulder towards the lounge. "But I think I'll stay here with Virg." _

"_Why, I thought you wanted to come home?" I could hear Scotts voice._

"_Yeah, but spending some time with Virg feels better right now." "And he has a thing or two to learn." _

_After I said goodbye to a confused father and a disappointed older brother, I returned to the lounge. I found Virgil curled up on the couch, fast asleep. I sighed and sat down next to him. For a moment I was about to tell dad about his fear, but if I make a promiss, I'm keeping it. This was another experience with a bad case of what I call "The Tracy Pride."_


	3. Chapter 3

_Scott Tracy:_

_My week of from Thunderbird Five was almost over. In two days I would go back up there to relieve Alan. It was his second year as a Thunderbird and he was doing great. This week we only had two rescues and the only injury was Gordon's sprained ankle. _

_I was sitting in the couch, watching one of Gord's favourite water movies. My little brother was lying in the other couch with two cushions under his right foot. I smiled as Gordon's eyes went big when one of the exciting scenes started. Well, it would be exciting if I hadn't seen it like ten times before..._

_That was the moment the alarm went off. Dad came running through the room telling Gordon to stay in the couch. Yeah, like that was going to happen. I still don't know how, but Gordon managed to get to the office even quicker then Virgil and me. After an argue with dad, Gordon got permission to come with us, if he stayed in Thunderbird Two the whole time. We took our seats in the giant green machine while Alan told us what was wrong. _

_There was a huge storm in the Pacific and a small submarine had hit a rock and was now stuck at the bottom. It was obvious this was a job for Thunderbird Two and Four. We were at the scene in little less than half an hour. _

"_Alright, John, Scott you two have to take Four." Dad said. _

_I nodded and walked to the back of the cockpit. _

"_What...but why me...why can't Virg go?" I heard my older brother. _

_I turned around a bit surprised. Scott would never argue about dad's orders. _

"_Because Virgil is the head pilot of Thunderbird Two." Dad said. "Now get going, we've got no time to lose."_

_I continued my way to Thunderbird Four with Scott behind me. I took the left seat and turned the power on. Scott squeezed himself into the right seat. Thunderbird Four isn't built for someone that tall. But now Alan seemed to catch up with Scott, Brains and dad were talking about making the ceiling higher. _

"_Ready boys?" We heard dad's voice through the microphone. _

_I looked at Scott, who normally would answer. I realised he wasn't so I told dad we were ready to go. _

"_Docking hatch opening now." We heard Virgil's voice. _

_The large hatch opened and we could see the wild waves of the sea. What I assumed was a cough came out of Scott's mouth. With a small drop we landed in the water and soon, we were surrounded by darkness. _

"_You might want to switch the lights on." I said looking at Scott. _

_Scott was staring in front of him and his hands were clamped onto the wheel. _

"_Hello, earth to Scott?" I asked waving my hand in front of his face._

"_W...what?" Scott asked. He looked at me with a weird look in his eyes I'd never seen before. _

"_Would you be so kind to put the lights on?" I asked with a little smile on my face. _

"_Yeah...sure." Scott muttered. _

_He pushed the little grey button on the side and now we had a view around us. Well it wasn't much of a view. The only thing we saw were some fish and weed floating by. I pushed the communication button. _

"_Alan, can you give us the coordinates?" _

"_Yes, they should be coming through right...now." Alan's voice sounded. _

_At that moment we could see a little dot on the monitor. _

"_Thanks little bro." I said. _

"_Boy, is he growing up fast." I said with a smile when I'd put the microphone off. _

_I turned to Scott again, expecting an answer. Instead of that I saw that Scott was once again looking straight ahead of him. He was holding the wheel in a death grip and it seemed as his whole body was tensed. _

"_Is something wrong?" I asked worried. Normally Scott was very relaxed on a mission. _

"_Yeah, I'm fine, why do you ask?" Scott asked finally looking at me. _

"_I don't know, maybe because you're trying to strangle the wheel?" _

_I should have noticed then that Scott gave a wrong answer to my question. It should have been "No I'm fine" instead of "Yeah I'm fine". It was like he had expected me to ask if he was fine. _

_After a few minutes of silence, the submarine came in sight. The plan was that Four would keep the submarine from breaking into two while Thunderbird Two would launch a rope with a magnet on the end that had to get attached to the submarine, so that Two could hoist the submarine up. _

"_Alright Virgil, we're at the scene." I said through the microphone. _

"_Right, I'll launch the rope." _

"_Take it easy, don't over haste yourself." I said._

_I knew how difficult it had to be to try to hit the submarine through the bad weather and all the heavy waves. Scott and I saw how the magnet came pass us and as I feared, it missed the submarine and landed on the bottom of the ocean. _

_Scott cursed a bit and looked on his watch. "Those people are already two hours down." He said._

"_It will take too much time to get the rope up and launch again." I said. "One of us will have to swim down and attach the magnet." "You're the athletic of the two of us, you can get there much faster than me."_

_Scott nodded and stood up. Again I should have noticed something was bothering him. He just wasn't Scott during the entire time they were in Four. Scott was standing in front of the air lock. _

"_You're ready?" _

_After a few silent seconds I turned around. Scott was still standing in front of the air lock and was shivering a bit. I stood up and walked to him. _

"_What's wrong?" "You know you can tell me everything, do you?"_

_Scott turned around to face me. His eyes were red and there were one or two tears falling down his cheeks. _

"_I...I...I'm afraid of water, alright!" He said loud. _

"_Why didn't you tell me?"_

"_I'm the eldest, I'm not supposed to fear anything!" Scott said. _

"_Alright, sit down, I'll get the magnet." _

_I might not be such a good swimmer as Gordon, or not as an athletic as Scott, I got the magnet attached to the submarine in a pretty fast time. In a few minutes, I was back in my seat. I was soaked and cold, but I had done my job. _

"_You alright?" I asked my older brother. _

"_Yeah, listen John, I'm sorry you had to do that just because of my stupid..." Scott begun, but I cut him off._

"_It's not stupid." "Though I doubt you'll ever believe that."_

_Scott managed to laugh and I laughed with him, though inside I was very worried and I still am now. This was another great example of how the "Tracy Pride" can ruin someone from the inside._


	4. Chapter 4

_Gordon Tracy:_

_I was asleep. It was Sunday morning and I could feel the sunlight on my cheek. The snoring of Scott filled the room, but I was used to that. All the sudden, something heavy fell on my knees. _

_I let out a yell and sat up, banging my head to someone else's. I held my hand on my forehead to feel a major bump coming up._

"_What's wrong?" I heard Scott on the other side of the room. _

_I opened my eyes to see one of my younger brothers on the same position as me. _

"_Gordon, what the hell are you doing?" Scott asked. _

"_You guys promised we would go on adventure this morning." The twelve year old said. _

_Dad and Brains were up in space to work on Thunderbird Five. I can remember I was cross with them 'cause I couldn't come with them. After all, it was about to become my Bird! _

"_Are Alan and Virgil up already?" I asked when Gordon jumped off my bed. _

"_Alan is in the living room and Virgil is putting on his clothes." _

"_Alright, go watch Alan, we'll be there in a sec." Scott said as he threw the blankets off him. _

_We both watched as our little brother ran out of the room. _

"_God, I forgot about our adventure trip today..."_

"_Why, did you have some other plans today?" I asked when I put on my socks. _

"_No, I just thought I could have a quiet morning, working on TB 1 for a while..."_

_I laughed. "You thought you could have a quiet morning with Dad off the island and four little brothers at home?" _

_Scott wanted to reply when we heard crying coming out of the living room. We both hurried to see what happened._

_It was eight o'clock when we were on our way to the jungle. Scott, Virgil and I had explored it a lot of times and we know the way out of our head. _

"_Gordon, not so fast!" Virgil yelled. _

"_Hurry up!" came the reply. _

"_Where are we going?" The nine year old that I was carrying asked. _

"_We're going to the jungle Ally." I said. _

"_Alright." Scott said when we were at the begin point. "Here's the plan." _

_I smiled. Two days ago, Scott and I had made two maps that lead to the top of the hill. We had hidden a chest full of candy there and the goal of the game was to get there first._

"_We'll make two teams and the team that reaches the top of the hill first, wins a prize." _

_Scott took the two maps out of his jacket and gave one to me. _

"_I think it's the smartest if I take Alan and Virgil." Scott said when he looked at me. "That way Virg can watch Alan also."_

_I nodded and walked to Gordon. _

"_Ready to win Gords?" _

_His eyes turned big and the smile on his face couldn't get any bigger. He had been nagging about going into the jungle ever since we moved here four months ago. _

_Scott hauled Alan on his shoulder and gave Virgil the map. "We'll go to the left, see you in half hour!" _

_I took Gordon's hand and gave him the map. "Lead us the way Gordon." _

_We took the other path and soon we couldn't hear the others anymore. _

"_Watch where you put your feet." I warned when my little brother almost tripped over a thick root. _

_We weren't exactly going fast. Gordon was paying more attention to all the strange noises and beautiful birds then winning the race. But I didn't care about the race and tried to teach Gordon something about the jungle. I doubt he remembers anything of what I told him back then._

_Finally we reached the small bridge that led to the hill. Gordon had walked in front of me the whole time, but now he stood beside me. _

"_I think we're going to win Gordon." I said when I looked around me. There was no trace of the others yet. My guess is that Alan had to pee a couple of times along the way. _

_Gordon nodded and came a bit closer on my side. _

"_Well, what are you waiting for?" I asked. "You were so eager to win when we started." _

"_Do we have to get over that bridge John?" _

_I frowned and looked into Gordon's eyes. "If you want to win the prize, then yes." _

"_I don't want to win anymore..." _

_I looked at my little brother as he took a few steps back. _

"_Okay, time out." I took Gordon up my shoulder, god he was heavy, and walked to the edge of the jungle. _

"_Are you afraid of falling off the bridge Gords?" I asked gently when we sat on the ground._

_Gordon shook his head. "No, I just don't want to win the game." _

"_It's okay to be afraid." I said. "I'm afraid too sometimes." _

_Gordon looked into my eyes with disbelief. "You're afraid?" _

"_Of course, everyone is afraid sometimes." _

"_What are you afraid of?" _

_I was thinking of an answer when we could hear Scott's voice. _

"_No Alan, you just went, hold it up 'till we're on the hill, alright?" _

_Gordon looked at me with tears in his eyes. I took him up my shoulder again and we made our way back into the jungle. _

"_Where are we going John?" _

"_Let them have that candy, I recall an unopened box of ice-cream in the fridge hidden behind the meat"_

_I didn't know it back then, and it may have been a small thing, but that was Gordon's first case of "The Tracy Pride". _


	5. Chapter 5

_Alan Tracy:_

_We were in the middle of a mission. There had been an earthquake in Los Angeles and now my brothers and father were there to save the day. _

"_We've got the two men out." I heard my dad's voice through the microphone. "How many left?" _

_I quickly scanned the area with a heat detection scan. "There are three people left in the building next to the post office dad." _

"_Right, I'll send Gordon and Alan there so the rest of us can wrap things up."_

"_FAB dad." I said. _

_I scanned the building and tried to locate the exact position of the three people in danger. _

"_John, on which floor are the victims?" Gordon's voice sounded. _

"_Hold on a sec." I answered. "Two people on the second floor, one other is in the basement." _

_I could hear my two youngest brothers agreeing that Alan would go to the basement and Gordon would go to the second floor. God have they grown since we started IR. _

"_You're almost there Gordon." I looked at the little red dot that was moving towards the two orange ones. _

"_I can see them John." Came the reply. _

"_How are you doing Al?" _

"_Making my way downstairs John." _

_That was information I already knew by looking at the yellow dot. _

"_I'm with the victims." Gordon's voice came back. "They only got minor injuries, we're getting out of here." _

"_FAB." I replied. _

_I made sure the three dots had left the building before I checked on Alan. _

"_How are you doing Ally?" I asked. _

"_Are you sure there's someone down here?" _

_I frowned and looked at my scan. What was I a fool for not noticing the shiver in Ally's voice. _

"_Yeah, but you're standing too far away from him." _

_I enlarged the basement and the corridor leading to it. _

"_Alan...you haven't reached the basement yet." _

_Alan didn't respond. _

"_Alan?" _

"_Where's Gordon?" _

_Now I started to worry. Alan's voice was as high pinched as it was when he was three years old. _

"_Gordon is outside with the other victims, why what's wrong?" _

"_Uhm...nothing." _

"_Come on Alan, I can tell when you're lying." _

"_It's just so dark down here, I can't see a thing." _

"_Didn't you bring your flashlight?" _

"_I dropped it when I..." _

"_When you...?" _

_Suddenly I heard some little sobs. _

"_You're not hurt are you?" _

"_No, I'm scared John!" "I can't see anything and there are strange noises all around me!" _

_It took me a few minutes to take that information in my head. _

"_Okay don't worry, calm down and I'll get someone down there." _

"_Thanks John, but would you mind not telling anyone?" _

"_I promise if you promise to talk to me when you're scared of something, alright?" _

"_I promise." _

_I pushed the button to Scott's wrist communicator. _

"_Scott, can you hear me?" _

"_Yes John, where's Alan?"_

"_He's still in the building and he can use some assistance." _

"_I'm on my way." _

"_And Scott?" _

"_Yeah?" _

"_Don't forget your flashlight." _

_Scott and Alan got the last victim out of danger and now everyone was probably home. I sighed deep and stared to the stars. Now even my youngest brother had experienced "The Tracy Pride". _


	6. Chapter 6

_John Tracy: _

_I have helped Virgil overcome his fear of being alone. I have helped Scott to overcome his fear of water. I have helped Gordon overcome his fear of heights. I have helped Alan overcome his fear of the dark. _

_I know what dad is afraid of. He's afraid that someone might attack his family. That International Rescue will be attacked by some kind of mad man. But Scott is the one who always points dad to the point that all the Thunderbird crafts have defensive weapons, well except Five of course. No one on earth knows the existence of the space station. _

_But I am afraid no one can help me overcome my fear. My fear is much too complicated. My biggest fear is that one of my family members will get hurt or worse during a mission and I can't be there with them, for them. For the past six years I only sleep three hours a night, haunted by nightmares and self hate. Every time I get a distress call my heart stops until the moment my family returns home. _

_The thing that I hate the most, of which I have seen all my brothers struggle with and which I have sworn not to take over my life, is in fact my life since the past six years. _

_My case with "The Tracy Pride" begun with three words: "Thunderbirds are go" _


	7. Chapter 7

John put his diary back on the shelf next to the monitors. Gordon and Alan think it's a dictionary with all the names of the stars in it.

Tears were running down his cheeks and for the first time in his life, he didn't try to stop them. There was no one who could hear him anyway. A huge weight had fallen of his shoulders by each chapter he had read.

John sighed deep and stood up. After putting out the lights, he went to bed, trying to get his three hours of sleep. He was so occupied with his diary, he didn't even notice the green light on the microphone that had been there all along. And even now he was putting out all the lights, he didn't see it.


End file.
